daily thoughts 8/31/25

moving on 

bruh i cant believe this is gonna be my last year of highschool and im going to college next year and im gonna be living by myself im sad why is time going by so fast. its already september tomorrow

im gonna miss my parents so much bro. i feel sad and bad because my parents are both kinda lonely so it makes me sad that i cant be there for them and also sad for me as well cuz idk ive been with them my entire life. 

living in a new city is gonna be terrifying but life goes on i suppose

i feel like i wasted so much of my youth (i did) i know i cant keep lamenting on it but omg bro so many years just wasted

this is a quote from the movie the sheltering sky and it was one of ryuichi's fav quotes. bro i really be mentioning ryuichi on literally every single post that i make its lowkey getting embarrassing. but anyways this quote makes my wanna rip my heart out. 

how many more times will i get to see my parents until i eventually dont

how many more times will i get to go on trips with my family and friends

how many more times will i get to eat my favorite food 

how many more times will i watch the full moon rise

💔💔💔

really made me think i was taking life for granted

also god pls take all of ryuichi sakamoto's pain and give it to tatsuro yamashita

music

i finally listened to lamp after i told myself that i was gonna listen to them like 2 years ago. and wow ive been missing out. smh my head

i listened to two albums for lovers and lamp genso

ngl i kinda didnt like for lovers it was not for me. also why was that album so loud bro omg i had my volume on the lowest and it was still so loud. 

lamp genso is a top tier album tho it was so good omg. i was feeling kinda sad today and listening to this album set the perfect atmosphere for me. all the songs are very good. that nostalgic summer-autumn very comfortable feeling. and that slight asian sound is so good. 9/10 lowkey some songs were kinda a drag for me tho

the ashita no joe plane hijacking incident

idk why but i suddenly remembered the ashita no joe plane hijacking incident and it made me laugh

imagine ur on a plane and some random dude takes out a katana and yells we are ashita no joe and then threatens the pilots

actually it wasnt even some random guy it was the bassist of the legendary japanese noise rock band les rallizes denudes. that somehow makes it even funnier

daily thoughts 8/30/25

being an artist

this topic was once again inspired by ryuichi sakamoto. he got me thinking so much abt art and the world itself its crazy

anyways i was thinking abt what it means and feels like to be an artist. i was discovering more ryuichi lore when i found out that as he grew older and nearing closer to his death he actually felt like his art was practically meaningless and his music was mid. and he also said that he was a composer and not a performer so anyone can play his songs with more vigor and emotion than he ever could. this made me sad im ngl. u dont have to be so humble sir 💔its crazy how even the greatest artists feel this way sometimes. also its just straight up not true. ryuichi sakamoto u have no idea how loved u are by the world. 

being an artist is hard. i know people compare themselves all the time even outside of art but it hits different in art idk why. like some people are genuinely meant to create art. while i feel like im not. i know everyone and anyone can create art but sometimes i feel like im not good enough. i feel like my art has 0 emotion in it and no story to tell. idk. most of it is just silly fanart.

how can i create meaning

he lowkey looks like he listens to kraftwerk and ymo

daily thoughts 8/29/25

sometimes asian things are just better lowkey

i wish ppl were more open about the fact that some asian things are just better lets be fr like i would much rather live in korea than in america rn

its ok ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹to admit that u love anime and japanese things its ok ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹 to think that asian people look more attractive to you than other races (as long as ur not being racist to others ofc) tbh i never got this concept like everyone has different tastes so idk why ppl think its racist 

its ok ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

speaking of asian things 

uhhmm how do i word this

idk im kinda proud of myself for never feeling bad abt being asian idk. tbh i dont think a lot abt my heritage like yeah ig im korean. i never felt like other korean americans who constantly worry if theyre korean or american enough like is it that serious i cant tell cuz idk. i always hear stories about korean-american identity crises and its like thats too bad for yall but not me tho i cant relate. im comfortable with who i am. yes im korean and american.

i also used to have a brief traditional korean clothing phase when i was like 13 that was great. 

music

thank god i finally found the time to listen to new music again. ive been listening to the same ymo/ryuichi sakamoto albums for like the past 3 months. i love them but its time for something new. found a whole bunch of new albums to listen to for this long weekend yipee!! im also gonna go listen to ryuichi's own personal spotify playlists that he made

god i love music so much man thank you ryuichi sakamoto for opening my eyes. i used to think the only good music was the ones that made my ears feel good but now its like its different. music doesnt have to just sound pleasant. it doesnt just have to make you feel good and happy. it can be irritating or annoying or sad or depressing. 

daily thoughts 8/28/25

community

we are currently learning abt community and civic engagement in my government class rn. and it got me thinking.

ive grown a lot as a person but im still pretty shy abt things. such as participating in like community activites. when i was young and still now i wanted to help the homeless and other people in need during holidays but i didnt because idk. im gonna try to help out my community more when i become an adult

ive truly grown so much because back when i had crippling anxiety i hated everyone and didnt care abt anyone cuz i was afraid of them and i always stayed home. i hated america and the fact that i had to live in this place. 

but after becoming more open im trying to change my ways. i need to help out more people and be kind to my neighbors.

i mean i still hate america (its bad lets be fr) i still care abt the people around me. i want to help out others.

i feel like ive always had a political spirit(????) 😭when i was a kid. i was just too shy to do anything. my mom always taught me to think abt the younger generation after me. so i always think abt if im wasting too much electricity or using too much water and always recycle things. i want to do more than that tho. 

maybe im just being influenced by ryuichi sakamoto again cuz hes my favorite woke liberal radical leftist. made me so happy when i learned that. thank you for calling shinzo abe a piece of shit. and his kids are the same as him. his kids being pro-palestine and active protesters makes me so happy. my goat

i absolutely cant stand people who dont care at all abt children like ur so pathetic and the world would be better off without you #lowkey. my dad is like this and it drives me insane just how much he doesnt care. people who cant even do the bare minimum like recycling and turning off the light/water when ur not using it pmo so bad

song otd 8/28/25

Today's song of the day is Tokyo Reggie by Masayoshi Takanaka! today felt like this song lowkey the part at 0:52 yeah. i should listen to more masayoshi takanaka tbh ive heard a few songs from him before and i liked all of them. also yukihiro takahashi being the lyricist for this song omgg. ymo is truly connected to everything. ymo rabbit hole goes so deep cuz the 3 ymo members literally collabed with every single musician ever 

daily thoughts 8/26/25

life does get better !

ever since this school year started ive just been talking to anyone. like wow i got so so much better than last year. i have friends in almost all of my classes now (except math and government). i forgot how much fun it is just being happy instead of being miserable. i can easily talk to almost anyone now. i truly changed my mindset. cuz back then i used to hate almost everyone. small talk is so easy bruh. i just be asking any questions. i cant believe i actually (almost) met my goal for this school year

being myself !

ive been trying to be more myself. ive been learning so much that nobody actually really cares what u do so go crazy. the only people i fear now are my family cuz u know family. im not afraid of being seen as cringe to others now tho. ive actually improved so much im so proud of myself. i love yellow magic orchestra, i love ryuichi sakamoto, i love undertale, i love deltarune, i love homestuck, i love watching animation memes, i love anime, i love watching undertale comic dubs from 2016. I love doing whatever i want lets go

other improvements

a few months ago i felt terrified abt turning 18 and becoming an adult but now i feel excited for it. im excited to become an adult. i feel like im ready for whatever the future holds for me now. im so glad i dont mentally feel like a child anymore. im ready to be out on my own. i see so many adults still acting like and wishing to be children and its lowkey kinda pathetic. ill do anything that i can so that i dont act like one of those fools. 

when i was a kid i used to be very brave and get into fights with other kids but once i first stepped into a school for the first time i became very shy. i think if i remember correctly i became very shy and isolated because people would get mad at me if i made mistakes. i was also very clumsy as a child so ppl would get mad at me if i bumped into them. i think that was like my very first experience of anxiety. it took me like 18 years but wow i finally overcame my social anxiety (not all of it but much of it)

oniisama e...

bruh i just randomly remembered abt oniisama e and how absolutely insane it was. i feel like every teenage girl ages 15-17 should watch this show. i swear its the most relatable thing ever. genuinely never felt so seen when i was 16 and miserable and watching the oniisama e girls fight each other like hell. esp mariko omg ill never forget her she was so amazing and relatable. i always think abt how bad she felt abt herself and what she did to others. that part where she broke down crying saying how could i have been so cruel... i cried literally every single episode. the melodrama was insane. this show permanently altered my brain ngl

daily thoughts 8/25/25

random

dont have much to talk abt lately so im just gonna ramble

bro i just remembered akira toriyama (dragon ball creator)'s favorite band is ymo see i knew he was always goated. i never watched dragon ball but i always knew akira toriyama was chill

speaking of ymo bro i always thought ryuichi composed some music for ghibli movies but he never did. but u know haruomi hosono did lol.

bro i swear to god ryuichi composed music for ghibli. huh. maybe im technically right because one of joe hisaishi's big inspirations is ryuichi. 

daily thoughts 8/24/25

friendsss

kinda ramble abt friends idk

tbh im ok if im not someone's first choice or someone's best friend. i just want friends bro ong 😭😭 i sometimes see ppl complaining abt how ppl make friends just so that it could benefit them and its like bro. why do u think ppl make friends. so that it could benefit them obviously. what did u expect 💀

getting so desparate to the point where idgaf if my friends dont invite me to things or leave me to be with someone else. i just want someone to talk to waaaa

cringe culture

my thoughts on cringe culture. so many ppl are hypocrites bro i swear to god. someone with a weird interest will see someone else with a slightly weirder interest and then they will bully that person to hell. cringe culture is not dead 😭

also to fight cringe culture u have to be proudly cringe by urself. like some ppl will def make fun of you but its all worth it. cringe culture will always exist because cringe is literally an emotion. just be urself even if u get bullied. it feels much better being urself.

homestuck

bro im reading homestuck rn and this shit is so confusing bro what the hell is actually going on. im still only on act 2 and im geniunely so confused. i lowkey only started reading homestuck for karkat vantas and i just found out that he first appears in act 5 💀which is page 1989 💀

i fucking hate de government

i fucking hate de government i hate my classes this year ugh

video unrelated: goes crazy ryuichi's range is truly amazing aint no way this the same dude who made merry christmas mr lawrence and flower is not a flower

daily thoughts 8/23/25

birthdays

i cant help but feel jealous seeing kids my age celebrate their birthdays with their friends, throwing birthday parties, wearing a pretty dress, and having fun. i tell myself that i dont care. i dont care abt my birthday but i really do 

im abt to turn 18 soon and i just dont feel anything abt it. i have nothing special planned. my friends tell me happy birthday and i should be grateful for that but i really dont.

18 wasted years!!!

daily thoughts 8/22/25

async

ok i listened to async. wow. 10/10. listening to ryuichi's 2010s albums is so painful because u just know he poured his heart and soul into all his albums since he had cancer and any album could be his last one 💔

listened to it while painting and lying in bed and it truly was an experience. i cried. so much emotion. and every song was very unique and diff from each other. songs sounding similar is a problem i have with ambient music. i like how he didnt just use sounds but also incorporated actual musical melodies in it. dont really get that often in ambient music. 

i loved every single track. but favs were: andata, solari, fullmoon

ryuichi sakamoto album ranking so far of all the albums ive listened to from him!!!

song otd 8/21/25

Today's song of the day is Field Work by Ryuichi Sakamoto ft. Thomas Dolby! been obsessed with this song recently. ryuichi u never miss. those synths at the beginning never fail to make me smile whenever this song comes on. like i know im abt to listen to peak for 6 minutes straight. also this song goes through some changes that i did not expect. like that part at 2:40

daily thoughts 8/21/25

async

i wanna listen to ryuichi sakamoto's ambient album async so bad but i heard ppl say that it was life changing so i gotta wait for the perfect time to listen to it. gotta be some day where i feel like killing myself and ryuichi sakamoto's music just brings me back to life. feeling a little bit sad today so maybe i will

speaking of ryuichi hes been on my mind lately like always. everytime im in english class i think abt him. everytime i read something ill be like ryuichi wouldve loved this 💔everytime i even think abt something art related i think abt ryuichi. hes made such an impact on how i think abt art. im so parasocial. 

i always think about how much hope ryuichi had for the future and how he taught me that art doesnt have to be painful. i think abt that so much. i used to think art is at its best when it conveys pain and sadness but now i think differently. it can be anything. it can be happy, goofy, annoying, scary, it can be a celebration of all different aspects of human life. i used to think my art was only good if it conveyed all the pain that i had to go through.

i NEED an english writing assignment where the prompt is write abt someone who inspired you cuz ill write the longest essay abt ryuichi sakamoto

daily thoughts 8/19/25

Family  again!!! !!

anyone else just absolutely hate talking to their family. esp their parents 😭😭 like omg bruh my parents are genuinely my biggest haters ever.

the only two reasons why i want to go to college is so that i can get away from this family and also make friends in a new community bro im so sick of living in this house

homestuck fanart in the big 25 🥀🥀🥀

daily thoughts 8/18/25

Complaining abt my family again!!!

i lovee my family esp my mom but my brother can lowkey die like

i genuinely have 0 fond memories with him aside from when i was 6 years old and we used to play together. the only memories i have of my brother are him making fun of my interests and calling me slurs.

i remember being so excited when my brother graduated highschool because that means hes going to college and i never have to see him again but then he didnt get into any colleges so hes still been living here for almost 3+ years now. 

god bless any girl in a family who have to deal with brothers. u either get a normal guy or the most incelcore annoying asshole brother ever.

Started reading homestuck!!!

i started reading homestuck!!! i just finished act 1 and now im on act 2. so far its very confusing and not very engaging but i still got lots of hopes for it. im so excited to meet the trolls they look funny. the grey little homonculi

why do homestuck characters move like that 😭

also this is the most korean looking troll ive ever seen in my entire life
why does he look so korean like ive seen this dude before sometime in my life
bro even got the red and blue glasses like the korean flag

song otd 8/15/25

Today's song of the day is Kagerou Days from Kagepro! top 10 songs that changed my life forever. oh my goodness the nostalgia. its still a banger after all these years. so many kagepro songs sound so much like summer.

the first video is the one that i watched first but i honestly like the 2nd video better. i know the first one was fanmade but still. i lovee the aesthetic of the 2nd mv its so good man.

daily thoughts 8/15/25

Kagerou Project

its that time of the year again... happy kagerou day!!! this series is truly foundational to my core human being ngl. genuinely no joke one of the most influential pieces of media ever to me. 

i remember when i was like 12(?) or something probably younger. i was discovering vocaloid for the first time. and i liked some of the songs. but it didnt really like REALLY hook me in. i was just a casual listener like yeah miku len rin they cool ig. 

but then one day i see a video titled heat-haze days with some cool anime thumbnail. woaw it looks so interesting. and little did i know it will change my life forever. 

the heat-haze days song i soon discovered was part of a series called kagerou project. a story about a group of kids who have special eye powers and they try to stop evil yada yada yada yeah. tbh its been a long time i kinda forgot some of the plot lol. some of them are stuck in a time loop and they try to fight and move on from grief and trauma and some other things.

i got so hooked on this song. i loved the music and the mv along with it. there was a fascinating story being told in heat haze days and i wanted to know more and i did get more! cuz theres so many songs that are all connected in this one big story. i listened to every kagepro song and i became so invested in this kagepro world

i watched the anime and read a few chapters of the manga. it was kinda confusing lowkey but i loved whatever the characters had going on. 

kagepro really made me enjoy vocaloid wayy more. i started listening to more vocaloid songs because of it. through kagepro i discovered vocaloid producers that i liked such as neru (I LOVE NERU!!!) and maretu and kenshi yonezu (hachi) and mitchie m. 

and through them, it was that i discovered utaites. i became really obsessed with utaites lol. my favs were mafumafu, soraru, mary, and eve 😭😭

and then with utaites, i started to delve more deeper into just the whole scape of japanese music. i remember having a city pop phase with tats*ro yamashita (i hate him now and i hate city pop).

and then after city pop, i discovered showa idols and then through showa idols i discovered my favorite band of all time yellow magic orchestra!!!

i cant believe kagepro caused a domino effect on my music taste thats crazy. like i firmly believe i would have never discovered ymo if it wasnt for kagepro. even tho i no longer enjoy vocaloid or utaites or city pop, ill always be a kagepro fan. i love this series so much man. 

btw my fav kagepro song is actually children record that song is such a banger. 

also my opinion on utaites has changed my favs are now soraru, mary, 96neko, nqrse, and lon all other utaites can die. idc abt mafumafu anymore he fell off so hard 💔i still like his old music tho

daily thoughts 8/14/25

School

school is in 3 days and im not ready bro im so fucking scared

Family

i truly envy people who actually have a connection with their family. especially their siblings. like i see siblings everywhere who actually share their interests with each other. 

i cant believe there are actually people out there who willingly want to live with their family after graduating highschool

man i dont get along with anyone in my family at all.

Ryuichi posting

thinking abt these ryuichi sakamoto quotes oughhh...

the way the world just got worse💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭im so sorry ryuichi sakamoto. yall notice how the world got worse once ryuichi passed away

daily thoughts 8/11/25

homestuck

did yall see that new animated pilot homestuck show trailer. that was so crazy. and funny. i lowkey want to get into homestuck ngl. i was never interested in the grey little homonculi but for some reason i think they look cool now. all i knew abt homestuck back then was that its a super long webcomic thats longer than the bible and the fanbase sucks. i unironically really want to read it but apparently theres like 8000 pages and also other stuff like games and idk if i got the time for that 💔

also im obsessed with this vriska edit for some reason. for my first impression, i think im most interested in vriska, terezi, nepeta, and dave. they fascinate me for some reason. reading homestuck just for them

C STUDENTS!!!!

speaking of animated pilots does anyone remember c students!!! it was so good!! i genuinely loved it so much

it unironically holds up pretty well in 2025. the humor is actually kinda good. its funny. and the characters feel genuine. i used to watch this all the time. god i wish animatedjames wasnt a terrible person because his animations are genuinely so good and inspire me.

that one animation that i mentioned

just remembered this absolute masterpiece. i rewatched it. and its still just as good as i remember. god this one animation absolutely changed my life lowkey. yknow its stuff like this that inspires me the most. not fully-funded animations made by big studios. just simple stuff like this. where the animation you can tell is made from an amateur. but my god there is so much love poured into this. and that is what inspires me the most. it really reminds me that absolutely anyone can create art. the animation in this is mostly very simple. but u can tell theres a story going on and invokes emotions in you. its so beautiful i think abt it all the time.

Hiroshi's Recollection

man im only talking abt animation today. idk if i already mentioned this. but this crayon shin chan movie is actually so good bro. crayon shin chan is a childrens comedy show. why did they actually go so hard with this movie. esp this particular scene. 

im playing this song on the piano rn and i just got reminded on how beautiful this entire sequence is. i remember watching it and just sobbing. 

the movie if u dont know is abt nostalgia. toxic nostalgia kinda. how u cant chase the past forever and how u must always keep living. and this scene is a perfect representation of the joy of life. of just living and i cry everytime. i love how this sequence doesnt just show the happy moments but also the sad moments, the difficult moments, and the tired moments. 

recently, ive begun to think differently abt the world. i barely have any friends and dont go outside much. i cry very often and feel very tired. and i just think is this all there is to life. but sometimes i go outside with my family even if were not very close. we eat at restaurants and talk. i go to art class to complete my art portfolio. i have a very helpful and kind art teacher and sometimes someone talks to me and i feel happy. 

ive come to realize that thats the beauty of life. every moment is significant even if its sad or frustrating or happy. some days ill cry and sleep in all day. some days ill go outside and do my work and come back home tired. some days ill text my friends and they will text me back. the seasons will change and a new year will start. ill cherish every single memory of mine. 

daily thoughts 8/10/25

Beauty standards pt. 3

brah oh my god why do i keep getting more thoughts on this topic. 

i wanna talk abt art depicting beauty standards and art criticizng beauty standards. i hate how most art depicting body dysmorphia is just some shit like this 😭

like woww pretty slender lady looks in mirror and sees fat (ugly) version of herself! never been done before. like i wish i could see a depiction of body dysmorphia where the person who feels dysmorphic isnt some pretty slender lady in reality.

in some other art they would have like a normal looking person and then a person with non-conventionally attractive features in the mirror like does this not feel counterproductive. you are perpetuating the myth that some features are objectively unattractive like unibrows and hooked noses. you are aligning with the belief of conventionally attractive beauty standards. 

i remember seeing this one skinny girl on social media just talking abt how fat she was right next to her actually fat friend and its like ur the problem girl. yknow its stuff like this that makes me wonder if they actually hate beauty standards or if they only hate it when it affects them.

this kinda relates back to the last post that i made how u are responsible with how u deal with beauty standards. 

most art criticizing beauty standards are so lame to me brah like i get it already man can u talk abt something else. its all so surface-level and never goes any deeper than i am a conventionally attractive woman in reality but i think i look so ugly 😢

Growing up sheltered

growing up sheltered is truly hell because u keep getting older but have no idea what to do at all without someone 

as a kid my parents did literally everything for me so i deadass dont know how to do anything. like no i didnt do chores or anything.

and it sucks even more cuz i cant even complain abt it ppl are just gonna tell me that im spoiled which i am but like i want to learn but dont know how to start? 😭everytime i talk abt this to someone they just tell me to learn and im like yeah... lmaoo 

idk anything abt college or adult things cuz i dont even have friends either so its like im truly cooked

now almost as an adult i dont know how to do anything and i cant handle even the tiniest bit of stress. i know i can overcome this but man it wouldve been so much easier as a teenager and growing up throughout the years

im glad im not the only one like this. u guys should read those two pictures to get a better perspective of what its like growing up sheltered. i swear its a bad thing!!! 

daily thoughts 8/9/25

Celebrities and parasocialism

yknow ever since kpop got popular i think parasocialism has had a much bigger conversation around it than ever before. and again i feel like people look at this topic in such a black and white view. because parasocial relationships i think are neutral. 

ive seen so many people call parasocial relationships with celebrities bad which i mean they certainly can be but it can also be good. 

like having a role model in life, a celebrity can change ur worldview in a good and bad way. i think it depends on how u act based on what inspires you. 

like not to mention ryuichi in literally every single post i make but he has done more good to my life than bad. i started playing the piano again, i started learning music theory again, i started to take in the beauty of nature, ive started to change my mindset on just people. like he made a change in my life a good change. 

but also we shouldnt deny the fact that celebrities are not perfect people. and a lot of celebrities are very bad people 💀 which makes putting them on a pedestal bad. some celebs should definitely not be a role model for individuals

Beauty standards pt. 2

i kinda talked abt beauty standards a little bit in my last post abt being skinny and stuff. but i wanted to add more. a diff perspective. analyzing it more than just a black and white view again. 

i think people (esp teenage girls) should take more responsibility on their own looks(?) and self esteem(?). like i know beauty standards are terrible and have an effect on everybody but u should take responsibility for the fact that ur ruining ur own body for urself. like DIETS as i mentioned 😭ill always feel bad for girls who got bullied for being fat and going on diets but u know u can change anyday. same thing as the ur trauma is not ur fault but it is ur responsibility yknow. 

like i lowkey dont care that i have armpit hair or that i have folds lmao and my neck is short and i have downturned eyes i lowkey dgaf. sometimes i get a little insecure like everybody but its just my body yknow cant do nothing abt it unless i get plastic surgery or something but i dont wanna do that. beauty standards will always exist and u can choose what u want to do to urself.

like are u gonna starve urself or are u gonna eat that damn donut. also stop calling urself big back when u cant even handle a bowl of cereal

hatsune miku x ymo

also random but i cant believe hatsune miku x ymo is a real thing that happened and not just something that i hallucinated

this one is probably my fav of the miku x ymo covers. this and also technopolis and tong poo

also this vocaloid x ymo crossover happened not once not twice but three times

daily thoughts 8/7/25

one of those days where i feel sad for no reason again. 

does anyone else constantly switch between i dont need anyone and I NEED SOMEONE ANYONE 😭😭its been one of those days. sighh. anyways i want to play merry christmas mr lawrence on the piano and go to college. i wonder where ill be and what ill be doing in the future. lifes been pretty i dont even know the word. weird lately

picture unrelated

my favorite words

sound, time, space, autumn, summer, nostalgia, between, close, safe, love, together, warmth, shadows, clouds, texture, reality, dream, belong, somewhere, dead, gone, life, human

inspired by ryuichi sakamoto's favorite words

also this is random but i miss my therapist so bad bruh oh my god. she said the most kindest thing anyone could ever say to me. when i was struggling with major social anxiety and insecurity abt my voice she told me that shes just happy to hear my voice 😓😓i still hold that memory near and dear to my heart. the kindest thing anyone has ever said to me. i think abt it everytime when someone is sharing their pain with me

daily thoughts 8/6/25

in defense of weebs...

bro i swear weebs get so much hate for no reason. they just like anime bro leave them alone!! 😭like as long as they arent just straight up fetishizing japan and japanese people i dont see why its such a problem with people. most of them just like anime a lot. 

i see so many people make fun of people trying to learn japanese and accusing them of wanting to be japanese and its like no ? they just wanna learn japanese brah. sure its probably because they want to watch anime without subtitles but whats wrong with that!! i swear to god yall got a problem with everything. like there is literally nothing wrong with wanting to learn japanese because of anime.

went on this ramble because i just saw some poor girl on twitter get flamed for a situation like this. i dont even know how to explain it. like people were accusing this girl of pretending to be a japanese person trying to speak english(??) just because the girl was speaking formally and in proper sentences instead of slang. like yall cannot be serious 😭😭like the girl wasnt even trying to do that. they were just typing in normal sentences and people jumped on them for no reason. 

and yknow the funny thing is that most people who trashed on that girl were weebs as well. like i know ur not talking with a code geass pfp.

DIETS ARE EVIL!!!!!

everytime i see anyone say that theyre going on a diet i feel like going insane. diets are evil. bro idc. everytime a girl says theyre going on a diet an angel loses its wings and dies. just witnessed my own 50 mother say that shes skipping going to dinner with us cuz shes on a diet. heartbreaking💔

i hate diets so much man. i wish people did not feel so insecure abt their body so much. i wish people could just eat whatever they want with joy and happiness. fat bodies are beautiful and i will kill everyone who says otherwise. the only valid reason u should go on a diet is for health reasons. otherwise diets are the worst things to have ever been invented

on rottmnt

dude... i just remembered my favorite cartoon of all time... rise of the tmnt... that got cancelled... and treated so horribly by nickelodeon....

i watched rottmnt in like 2020 i think right after the show got cancelled. btw the way this show got treated was insane. like people called it a teen titans go ripoff. an ass version of tmnt 2012. nickelodeon barely promoted this show. rottmnt only played on tv during times where nobody was watching tv. it got so many bad reviews from ppl who didnt even watch the show. it didnt even get 2 seasons. it got 1 season and a half because the 2nd season got cut in half. nickelodeon didnt even tell the fans that s2 would be the final one. it was so bad. 

and its so sad because unironically and genuinely rise of the tmnt is one of the greatest cartoons of all time im not even joking. genuinely top 5 cartoon of all time and i dont even gaf abt tmnt that much. its such a good cartoon bro and not just because of the animation. people always talk about how good the animation is in rottmnt (which is 100% true one of the most visually appealing cartoons of all time) but the writing was really good as well. the dynamic between the turtle bros were so cute. i love them so much. i love family 🧡

everybody should watch rottmnt btw. 

GODDD the fight scene choreography is so good. i always think about the fish and ladder scene and the train fight scene. and this is just from the show!!!

picture unrelated

daily thoughts 8/5/25

again not much so im just gonna randomly ramble

ryuichi sakamoto again!!! -

ryuichi genuinely changed my life man. changed my entire worldview. him collabing with so many artists and saying that collaboration is important to being an artist made me change my mind on people. like everyone is so different and so talented. and so am i. no more jealousy... doesnt matter if theyre younger and better than me at something. were all on different paths. 

saw a little kid in my art class who draws so good and instead of getting jealous i was like wow thats good art. i never wouldve been like this 4 years ago i wouldve been burning with jealousy

discovering ryuichi sakamoto has been like reaching nirvana for me recently like his old man wisdom is genuinely having an effect on me.

!!!!!!

random - 

dudee why am i only attracted to old people omg. why are all these old men and women so cute. 

daily thoughts 8/4/25

tbh i have nothing much on my mind today

random - 

does anybody else lowkey wanna walk around naked. i love showing skin!! 

ermm what else idk

look at this pic of young ryuichi sakamoto. i didnt know he looked like that.

also this response to that picture is frying me. he lowkey does look like a woman beater 💀💀but nah its just our good friend ryuichi sakamoto

uhhhh i think david sylvian is pretty. hes the lead singer of japan (yes that is the band name) i just know him cuz he collabed with ryuichi often. and japan was friends with ymo. and oh my god why is this man so beautiful. so unfair 💔💔

heres him with ryuichi <3 just two queens maximizing their joint slay together <3

also i think he was the inspiration for a lot of the 1970s-80s bishounen evil blonde twink shoujo manga characters. and also he was the inspiration for johan liebert from the manga series monster. he even sang the ending song for the anime version of it so cool. that anime is on my watchlist

man i sure do love men that look like women! anyways thats it for today idk what else to talk abt. today was lowkey chill

daily thoughts 8/3/25

on "niche" music - 

i love it when ppl who think they got niche music taste shit on others for having generic music taste. like i just saw someone making fun of someone else for liking sabrina carpenter and chappell roan. and then u see their acc and theyre a fan of the doors and lana del ray. like girl thats ur twin

ppl say they got niche music taste and then all they listen to is aphex twin, bjork, and jeff buckley. u not special 😭😭just let ppl listen to what they want to !!! you pretentious prick!!! u dont even have a diverse music taste!!! 

also i love how ymo is never included in those niche music posts. thank god ymo safe. it kinda amazes me how ymo are so influential yet nobody really talks abt them much. like they are just niche enough and not popular enough. 

this is not me saying that ymo are niche!! its just that nobody ever talks abt them which is sad cuz i want to talk abt ymo with others 💔

on procrastination -

guys help me. oh my god. i have so much homework but i procrastinated all day and got literally nothing done. my head hurts how do i fix this. 

daily thoughts 8/2/25

on loneliness -

i swear i keep telling myself that i dont want to talk abt these things anymore but i cant help it. lets talk abt our emotions!!! i was thinking abt this one scene in deltarune again where ralsei is trying hard to stay positive all the time but kris tells him that its ok not to smile all the time

oh my god bruh. i didnt cry when i first saw it but now this is making me violently sob. i cant with deltarune... i wish i had a friendship like this. this scene got me thinking abt how chronically lonely i am 😭😭i wish i would stop talking abt how lonely i am because its getting annoying.

thinking abt how im gonna become an adult this year and i still got the most childish hopes and dreams like having a lot of friends or a friend group and having my friends throw me a birthday party💀

once i become an adult friendships like that arent possible anymore cuz everyone's grown and have responsibilities and they already did all that stuff in their teen years except for the lonely people 💀 

bruh im so scared of becoming an adult cuz i literally had 0 social development in my teen years since i had no friends and not even close with my family so i was basically alone in my room all the time. i just know im gonna be an annoying immature adult 💀i hope i can learn to function like a real adult and mature quickly cuz i dont wanna be seen as one of those immature people

also speaking of loneliness- i really truly do not understand the "male loneliness epidemic." one time in stem design class these two boys next to me were talking abt how nobody cares abt mens mental health and i had to laugh. do u really think anyone cares abt womens mental health either. nobody cares abt anyone's mental health bro 😭

on compliments - 

im 90% sure i already posted abt this but im gonna talk abt it again cuz its been on my mind. i think i mentioned before that i feel absolutely nothing whenever i get a compliment. i think thats cuz i dont feel proud abt anything. the only compliments i get is on my artwork and lowkey im not proud of most of my art 💀sometimes i can cook something up real good but most of the time nahh.

i dont get how some people become so happy whenever they get a compliment like. i just say thank you and then go on abt my day 

other - 

nothing funnier in this world than when an artist is like fuck beauty standards!!!! and yet they only draw conventionally attractive people. i just saw an artist like this on instagram where they made a piece that was critiquing beauty standards but then u scroll through their acc and its all just portraits of  conventionally attractive people. bonus points if they only draw east asian women

squash and stretch

 found an old squash and stretch animation i did like last year

daily thoughts 8/1/25

on school -

no way its already august man why did july go by so fast what

hhhh ive been worrying abt school lately. its my senior year and i get so worried abt making friends. goddd everyone already has their own friends and it makes me feel like im never gonna be able to achieve my goals. but it makes me feel better cuz my other friend from diff state also is gonna try to make friends in their senior year since they dont have a lot in junior year

on ryuichi sakamoto -

watching this interview of ryuichi is so fascinating. listened to the entire thing during art class. 

also i was surprised he was this good at english like he uses big boy words thats crazy. i know he lived in new york for a few years in like the 2000s?? i think but still thats incredible cuz he was like 40-50 years old by then and he learned a language at such an old age. woww. esp since japanese and english are such different languages

also his little thank you at the end is so cute. aww my little gilf <3

also more on ryuichi- he truly is so inspiring to me. like he couldve been one of the those mean bitter old artists who thinks theyre better than everyone else just cuz they had more experience but he chose kindness instead <3 

like he collabs with literally everyone even artists that nobody has even heard of. hes collabed with like david byrne, thundercat, ichiko aoba, etc (it would literally take an hour to list all his collaborations). his view on collaboration actually inspires me. like how from collaborating, he learns stuff from younger and newer artists and that inspires him to create even more creative music. i hate collaborating with people but this might lowkey change me. i need to be more open-minded like ryuichi

ryuichi couldve easily been a pretentious asshole who thinks hes the greatest musician thats ever lived but nahh hes so chill and just such a cool grandpa i love him so much

also this ramble abt ryuichi is getting so long but one last thing i wanna watch his movie documentary coda so bad. ive only seen screencaps of it but im already mesmerized by it

i know watching this will alter my life permanently. ryuichi is truly the ideal type of artist (and person tbh) that i want to be. kind, caring, open-minded but also goofy and treats people nicely and strives to create change in the world <3 genuinely miss him so bad he never shouldve died man