daily thoughts 7/30/25

yknow what actually i hate ashita no joe bro its all this series' fault that i picked muay thai as a sport. i regret it so much 😭😭like i hate violence and people who play sports why did i choose this sport bro 😭😭

i hate people who play sports so bad like omg theyre all so pretentious. the boys are so annoying pls get a personality outside of basketball and soccer. 

also i cant believe girls who play sports are just as annoying as boys who play sports. like i know this one girl in one of my classes that thinks shes better than everyone just cuz she does track like girl be serious u not even playing a sport ur just running and u think ur somehow better than everyone 😭

daily thoughts 7/29/25

ymo glazing again

yo who the hell was the graphic designer for ymo like all of these are so aesthetically pleasing

i loveee this one !!!!! the baseball theme...

why is all the promo art for x multiplies so good

i love their album covers esp the one right above. its one of my fav album covers of all time

childhood crushes !!

speaking abt romantic relationships i kinda want to talk abt my childhood crushes (yes inspired by emirichu) just for fun

tbh i really cant remember most of my childhood crushes i dont think i had many but ill try to think

from the earliest to most current !1

#1: Shinichi Kudo (Detective Conan)!!!

hes the earliest childhood crush that i could remember 😭😭i could see why little me had a crush on him but looking at him now i can only say that he sucks and heiji hattori is better and cooler

#2: Father (Kids Next Door)

i was only attracted to his voice okay!!! maurice lamarche is incredible

#3: Ralph Macchio </3

i had a crush on him when i watched the karate kid </3

#4: Nicholas D. Wolfwood (Trigun)

hes so cool ngl i can see why i was attracted to him. im a vash girlie now tho

#5: reigen (mp100)

BARK BARK BARK WOOF WOOF WOFOFFOFEWFJO

#6: Lady Oscar (Rose of Versailles)

who didnt tho. it shoudlve been me!!! not a*dre

#7: Rose Quartz (Steven Universe)

tbh idk if this really counts as a crush i just really really like her. and u cannot deny her beauty

#8: Kogoro Mouri (Detective Conan)

this was more down the line when i got back into dcmk a little bit a few years ago. i love men with moustaches <3

#9: Hiroshi Nohara (Crayon Shin Chan)

just look at him. hes so handsome <3 i want this figure so bad

#10: Free De La Hoya (Beyblade Burst Evolution) 

😭😭😭i watched beyblade just for him when i was like 12 im cryign bro idk anything abt beyblade. i just thought he was cute

#11: Seong Gi-Hun (Squid Game)

he was so cutie pie. i love middle aged men who try to do good for their kids <3 and no i still have not watched squid game s2 and s3

#12: Yukihiro Takahashi 

ok yeah who saw this coming. god he is so cute. just a guy who loves fishing and dogs and fashion. did u guys know yuki was also a fashion designer as well and he has his own brand called bricks mono. did u guys know that he made a lot of the costumes for ymo live tours. i love him 😭😭

#13: Ryuichi Sakamoto

this gotta be the most kpop idol core photo of ryuichi

who saw this one coming!! yeah im definitely a ymo fan for the music guys i swear. putting two pics of him because i love him that much </3 maybe the most gorgeous man thats ever lived. why is this 70 yo man fine as hell 😂😂👀👀🤑🤑 i love you so much ryuichi sakamoto my little goth catboy grandpa.

ok thats all i remember for now i might update this later because this is so fun. also me including 2/3 ymo members on here is so funny. i love you haruomi hosono but u were lowkey chopped

also this is getting long but i kinda cant tell the difference between a crush and like just finding them nice i guess??? cuz i have a lot more characters that i can put if its just finding them endearing like joe (anj), ryo (devilman), kamille bidan (zeta gundam), and lots more

daily thoughts 7/28/25

the way so many ppl prioritize romantic relationships over friendships truly hurts me so bad like. im not even aroace or anything but i value friendships way more than romantic ones. i dont even know if i want a romantic relationship tbh.

like the thought of one of my friends just completely abandoning me after they find a partner hurts me so bad. i feel like its especially worse with girls cuz theyre taught from a young age that they need to find a man. 

like i believe romantic relationships and friendships are different but u should still not think one is more important than the other!!

and not just that i just feel left out being the only one who hasnt had a romantic relationship yet. like i dont care but i also care 😭 like idc mostly but i know im gonna be made fun of for not having one and it just makes me sad. makes me kinda lose hope in friendships. i know its especially gonna be hell in college because everyone dates in college. maybe this is why ppl value romantic relationships more than friendships.

maybe the reason why i value friendships more than romantic ones is because i was terminally lonely ever since i was a kid

also if i ever do get into a romantic relationship and i start ignoring my friends just shoot me

thoughts

daily thoughts 7/27/25

i just remembered one of my very first vocaloid songs was secrets of wysteria and thinking abt that is actually so hilarious. like i didnt touch vocaloid in months because of that song. 

btw dont listen to secrets of wysteria it will actually scar you for life. im not even joking. i know this sounds like a joke but its not. that song is genuinely one of the most terrifying things ive ever witnessed like i clicked on that video once when i was a kid and i couldnt sleep for days. i kinda want to revisit it but i just click off to a diff video everytime cuz i dont have enough courage to listen to that song in its entirety. 

the fact that a vocaloid song is one of the things that scared me so bad to this day is so crazy. if u have the courage to listen to that song and watch the mv then go do it. i really cant. 

if u want to know what secrets of wysteria is abt. its a song based on a real life serial killer that i cant even say the name cuz i dont want people to go searching up that stuff because i did and i couldnt sleep for days. like genuinely maybe one of the worst people of all time. my god everytime i think abt this song or that real life person who existed i get so scared.

daily thoughts 7/26/25

ok im backk guyss im normal now didnt post a lot cuz i was extremely busy!!! but hey!!! i started learning the piano again!! im so excited!! thank you ryuichi sakamoto for giving me my life back!!

but i literally forgot everything abt piano tbh like i can still play it and some songs they just come naturally to me but omg i forgot how hard piano is. i was never a good piano player at all esp since i had so much anxiety when i was a kid. my hands would always tremble and miss notes because i didnt want my piano teacher to judge me. 

idk how long it will take for me to get good but im just gonna keep doing it. i wish i never quit. this is so fun. i played a short ver of merry christmas mr lawrence and it made me happy :)

also i moved houses!! i really like my new house better than the old one. idk why but for some reason i feel like ive lived in this new house before. it feels strangely nostalgic.

daily thoughts 7/24/25

ok im back i feel better now that was such a rough hurdle to get through im still kinda not in the right state of mind though rn

im gonna start a new series called daily thoughts where i write my daily thoughts cuz i lowkey use this blog just to dump my thoughts

omg bro this one friend of mine wont stop sending me unfunny instagram reels helpp me i dont mind if they send funny or relatable ones or send reels occasionally but they do it all the time. i dont even like it. like its not even funny. sometimes they send me ai slop too and i just have to sigh. like what do u want me to say abt ur unfunny reel man

like just start a conversation with me man why does nobody want to text anymore stop sending me unfunny reels and just talk

speaking of texting why does nobody actually want to text anymore like everytime i text one of my friends they send the most driest reply ever or just go somewhere after replying and then theyre like gone for 3 hours until they reply again

and the one friend that i actually enjoyed texting to doesnt even text me anymore cuz she found new friends 😭😭 everytime i text her she just replies and then goes somewhere and doesnt come back till like an hour later oh my god

i need new friends bro i cant do this anymore. everyone is so insufferable sometimes

song otd 7/22/25

i know i said no posts for a while (maybe) but i just wanted to share this song because it makes me feel comforted <3 perfect for my situation rn. its so beautiful it truly makes me want to live. i want to become a pianist like ryuichi sakamoto. i want to make music. i want to pour my soul into my art.

so quiet and calm and nostalgic with a slight hint of melancholy 

why this comment lowkey making me cry. i feel like this flower sometimes. like sometimes i genuinely wonder why i was even born into this world. i still havent found an answer yet. but maybe i dont need to at all. its ok to just exist and find beauty in everything even the smallest things. 

hey guysss i just suffered a mental breakdown yesterday and im still feeling the after effects and it will probably take a few days for me to recover soo maybe not a lot of posts

this one was kinda bad like not brushing ur teeth or washing and staying in bed all day and feeling like throwing up and stabbing myself kinda bad 

im still alive btw it will take a few days for me to be a normal human being again 

maybe if i listen to kimi ni mune kyun 1000 times ill feel happy again

its truly just me and ymo against the world 

wait i just realized the ymo onsen logo is supposed to spell out ymo i think im stupid

this is such a cool logo tho

new oc: kim barbera!

here is kim barbera! this was an old oc that i reworked into a new character

dont really know what her personality's gonna be right now (still working on it) i guess shes a little bit like muffet from undertale cuz thats what she reminds me of

i wanted to try out a more cartoony artstyle

loving yourself is kinda overrated tbh it doesnt help at all 

like i hate it when ppl are like love yourself when theres no one like how... 💔💔

tbh i gave up on self love im gonna dedicate myself to being kind to others now tbh i thinks thats more helpful tbh 

self love is so useless and its so much harder than loving others 😭

i feel like ppl who say love urself already have friends and are stable like idk how else they feel good abt themselves

i cant live with myself alone brahh i need someone 

real talk the only thing that i like abt myself is my interests like im so glad im a ymo fan im so glad i like deltarune and undertale and animes

differences between the 3 east asian countries

its so crazy to me how some ppl cant tell the difference between chinese, japanese, and korean ppl. i mean im korean so its easy for me to tell but still. 

i can even tell the difference between korean americans and native koreans like its so easy man. i know some korean americans who are confused that native koreans can tell that theyre different but its like super easy to tell. its not just the facial features its also the way they do their hair and how they dress

like every korean american woman got that same hairstyle 😭where they have the tiniest little curls at the end of their hair meanwhile native korean women have more straighter hair imo 

also fashion. korean fashion is literally just black pants and a white top. and almost no color variation. if they do have color then the whole outfit can only be that one color.

korean american fashion is just kinda american fashion like everyone else

also a lot of japanese ppl got those choppy bangs which makes it easy to tell them apart from koreans and chinese people

song otd 7/18/25

Today's song of the day is Ryuichi Sakamoto's piano version of tong poo! this touhou ahh song. when i first listened to this i was like yo this lowkey sounds like touhou which is so funny because ive heard like two touhou songs in my entire life. im so glad im not the only one in the comment section who thought this song sounds like something straight from touhou. and i just learned a lot of touhou music is inspired by ymo. no wonder theres so many touhou fans in the ymo fandom

this piano version goes crazy btw

left handed dream

when the hyperfixation so bad it got u doing art studies </3

anyways this is one of my fav ryuichi pics of all time so i drew it <3

cute ymo video!!!

ymo has actually gotta be the cutest band ever bro like look at this video!!!!! why are these old men so cute!!! wtf!!!!

i miss amphibia

just randomly remembered abt amphibia. o em gee. i used to love that show so much. i still love marcy wu omg my girl

she was so silly and just like me! smart but unathletic and dgaf abt PE. afraid of being lonely and moving away from her friends. wants to talk abt her interests but her friends dgaf. separation anxiety, short hair, and cringe. SHES JUST LIKE ME!!!!!! marcy wu unironically still one of my fav characters of all time #lowkey

i hated the way the show treated her though like it was genuinely insane the amount of awful stuff she had to go through 💀

like she deadass got stabbed through the chest and the show barely acknowledged it like her friends didnt gaf. like they literally mentioned her like once in season 3 and then she also got brainwashed through a literal electric chair and got hypnotized and possessed. like why did they do that to her 😭she was only 13 years old. girl shouldve been playing the nintendo switch

also after her friends save her. the show never brings up all the trauma that marcy had to go through. literally not even once. 

also amphibia season 3 was lowkey trash i kinda hated it like 4/10

i still like the characters tho. especially marcy. marcy wu ill save you from that show

does anyone else lowkey love it when an older woman calls u cute or whatever. because i doo omg. literally giggling and kicking my feet whenever an older woman calls me that.

also related to this does anyone else lowkey love being babied like yeah. im cringe

always loved being the teacher's pet too like in 3rd grade during recess time i would always sit next to my teacher on the bench even when my friends asked if i wanted to play with them. she would ask me fun questions and i would feel so special lmaoo

maybe this is why i feel so lonely all the time cuz i always be gravitating towards people older than me

i never really liked people my own age tbh

the way ive been avoiding this album like the plague because if i do listen to it i know i will shatter into a million pieces. goddd ryuichi sakamoto u truly were one of a kind. i kinda wanna just dump my thoughts abt ryuichi onto this post

its actually incredible how much music ryuichi put out into this world. every song ive listened to him just oozes creativity and love and passion every single one of them. he did so much experimental stuff ranging from electronic to classical.

his battle with cancer is truly admirable. i watched/read a few interviews abt ryuichi discussing his cancer and it makes me wanna cry everytime. he was expecting death to come soon but he still wanted to keep doing music till he died. ryuichi said he had so many things he wanted to do and not die so soon. he said he was afraid of death💔💔im so glad he was able to have one last grand finale with opus. i havent listened to it yet (dont know when i will) but im sure its gonna be amazing

im so devastated man. call me parasocial i dont care. ryuichi was the one who inspired me to pick up the piano again. hes one of the few musicians who inspired me to start appreciating music as an art form and to study it 💔💔i cant believe it man. 

white people piss me off so bad sometimes bro like why is every white person's lore like i was a nazi during the 2010s because i was a heavily influenced teenager with unrestricted access to the internet💔

like me too bruh but i never became a hateful person like i genuinely dont understand what compels people to say slurs or be racist

and then when ppl try to criticize their past actions theyre like it was in the past!!!! like kill yourself. its even worse cuz other white ppl back them up too like eveyone was like that back then!!! like no.

i hate it when white people tell minorities that they just hate seeing people improve themselves. that saying pisses me off so bad like part of "improving yourself" is expecting that not everyone will forgive you and you just have to accept that and do better in the future

but no u said sorry once so that means ur not racist anymore at all and everyone who criticizes you for ur past actions is just a miserable person who hates to see people change! no donating to minority groups, no making friends with minority groups, no trying to understand the culture of minority groups. just say sorry once and ur all clear

this is also why i hate the term cancel culture so much. like nobody is cancelling you. you just have to face the consequences of ur actions now. also cancel culture almost never applies to celebrities like i have never seen a celebrity get rejected jobs just because they did a bad thing in their past. like celebrities can literally do the worst thing ever and they will still have a place in the industry like stfu crying abt cancel culture.

just learned some family lore today

me and my family used to live in the richest place in korea and apparently we lived next to a bunch of celebrities like this one famous model or something and this one theatre actor and one of the members of one of the most influential kpop groups H.O.T.

apparently him and his friends used to party all the time in the parking lot and singing songs

YEARNING !!!!!!

god i wish i want to like kiss/hug/hold hands with my friends (in a platonic way) but im scared it will make them uncomfortable 💔💔

also im too afraid to even ask if i can i do those things 

my love language is touch or whatever i love being close to one another and holding each other 

i used to have one friend who i could do those things with like we were all over each other (she didnt mind) but she moved away 💔 im so touch starved

like who wanna be like this with me

i love being in love with my friends yeah

i want to bridal carry and give piggyback rides to my friends even tho im too weak to do that 🥀🥀

idk why i just remembered how awful my old elementary school used to be

the way they treated special needs kids there was genuinely so awful even little 8 year old me knew that it was bad💀

like i remember this one time me and my 3rd grade class were sitting in the hallway doing something i forgot what but then there was this staff member who was literally dragging this one crying and screaming kid across the floor like just straight up dragging her across the hallway and me and my entire class just stared at that 

it was so bad i still remember it to this day i felt so bad for that kid

song otd ?? 7/12/25

this is honestly my favorite song from the new deltarune chapters. this how i feel when i bedrot. the atmosphere here is so great. its so ambient and sad. i love it so much. seeing this part of the game for the first time and learning that kris went to therapy before just made me flashback to the absolute worst years of my life and how i had to go to therapy too. i love and relate to you so much kris deltarune.

ive been listening to this for hours now its so haunting and melancholic

bedrotting

i forgot how painful actual bedrotting is bro omg

like there are some days where i genuinely cant get out of bed even if i wanted to because i have 0 energy to do so

this one time i wanted to get out of bed but i literally couldnt move my body at all so i just stayed in bed for like 3+ hours from the time i woke up and just scrolled on my phone 😭

it also feels like someone shot me through the ribs and i cant move at all

thinking abt how theres so many japanese deltarune fans who are also ymo fans can we be friends guys

good morning

spacehey

https://spacehey.com/profile?id=1590546

yall check out my cool spacehey acc from 2 years ago i unprivated it

nah bro ymo has actually gotta be the best band of all time cuz 

everyone hot

everyone cute

everyone unproblematic 

10/10 aesthetic

crazy lore

all 3 have made meaningful contributions to music

massive library of music to listen to

also i feel like ymo is one of the most universally loved bands ever like ive never seen anyone say that they hate ymo

i know everyone starts dancing when kimi ni mune kyun comes on

just such a fun and good band to listen to. we love you ymo!!!

also this is one of my fav ymo pics idk why its so cute

https://spacehey.com/profile?id=1590546

i just remembered the old spacehey acc i made like 2-3 years ago i should use it again tbh its way cooler than blogger

 

wtf did they do to yuki in this picture man

lol

song otd 7/8/25

Today's song of the day is Birthday Party by Haruomi Hosono! guess whos birthday it is today guys.... yeah... happy 78th birthday haruomi hosono!!!!!! please live to atleast a 100 years old the world CANNOT lose another ymo member 😭😭💔💔

i love this song ouuu.... i love it when a song is just weird noises. also especially love it when theres that one woman singing lyrics. happy birthday day day day

why so silly

this picture of him is so generational
its just so iconic

my diva 💓💓

song otd 7/6/25

Today's song of the day is Seoul Music by YMO! the concept of an african-inspired song with lyrics and title about korea with lyrics in english and japanese made by a japanese band. i know only ymo can do it. thank you ymo for repping my country's bad political state in the 80s🫡 i love that drum beat so much

yall should hear the live ver too btw its soo good. god this one is so good. i wish it was longer omgg

my ymo interest is getting so bad bro oh my goud i literally cant think abt anything else or do anything else except look at pictures of ymo and listen to their music

its genuinely so bad everytime i think abt them i get way too excited and my brain starts hurting like actually 😭

and its also crazy because i havent even listened to every single ymo album yet or listened to most of their solo discogs because i dont want to run out of ymo content 💔

yesterday i literally procrastinated for so long on two of my homeworks because i chose to watch a 1 hour long video essay on haruomi hosono instead of doing my homework that literally takes 5 minutes

and everytime i think abt how ryuichi sakamoto is dead i want to kill myself like genuinely,,, i heard other people went through an year-long grieving when ryuichi also died like people were ready to die for this man so that means im normal right 

haruomi hosono pls never die i will actually burst into tears and cry in my bed all day

i know yall are tired of these constant ymo posts where i talk abt how much im obsessed with ymo but i genuinely cant help it brah i feel like exploding everytime i think abt ymo and i need some type of outlet to get it all out

idk if im neurodivergent or what but is this what a hyperfixation is like omgg how do yall handle this

from the moment i wake up in the morning i automically start the day off with a ymo song and look at pictures of ymo and then do that for like 4 hours till i take a 30 minute break and then continue thinking abt ymo for the rest of my day 💀

have any of yall had such an obsessive interest it lowkey ruins your life a little bit

and of course i had to get obsessed with ymo during the most busiest year of my life 💔

omg i just remembered the old devilman drawing that i posted on tumblr... and people actually loved it and some people said it inspires them what the hell... it got 300 notes

like this is actually crazy man. i had no idea my art could inspire people omg this makes me so happy. wdym some person used my art as their discord pfp. omg this makes me want to keep doing art i love that i can make people happy just by drawing something

ymo scarf

this has turned into a ymo fan blog now atp anyways ymo fanart by yours truly!!! on csp!!

my beloved grown ass 30 year old men whom i call babygirls

also kinda unrelated but old man yukihiro takahashi was so cute like wdym this grown ass 60 year old man makes little snow puppies and brings his stuffed animals on trips like are u kidding me... 💔💔

and wdym hes dead WHYY why does god always take the kindest souls first😭😭