ok nvm 

im still on vacay but i can post regularly 

im going on vacay

might not post for a while... but ill be back... guys... i swear. idk

backrooms

i watched backrooms. it was okay. i wasnt really engaged till like half the movie. 

what i got from the movie: 

sorta commentary on ai. most notable with that dinner table scene. those freaky humans representing those ai abominations. 

mental health deterioration / reality blending with unreality. esp in our era, with ai, we cant tell whats real anymore. 

i was fine with the ending. IDK what YOU my FRIEND was talking abt. i think it fits the themes + the whole idea of backrooms is that its inexplicable because its out of our boundaries of reality. also that last frame was the only scene that actually kinda made me scared out of the entire movie lol

and also idk if its right but the tv's were a metaphor for escapism right. and also the pirate monster at the end is supposed to reflect clark's escapist persona and liek escapism bad right. thats another thing abt the movie. abt nostalgia and stability being a hinderance to progress. clark was lowkey relatable. why he lowkey me tho. when he said i dont wanna change because he likes comfort and stability better than the fear of progress. so real

---

also cool poolrooms and everywhere at the end of time references woahhh. and also was that a texas chainsaw massacre reference with the dinner table scene. i havent watched texas chainsaw massacre but im gonna watch it soon. which im really excited abt

but its 6/10 movie cuz i think it didnt need to be that long + it was kinda boring ngl 😭i know the appeal of backrooms is that its a never-ending maze that just extends forever which makes it horrifying. but the parts of the movie where they explore the backrooms felt like such a drag. 

more movies need to be like look back where they tell what story they want to tell in a perfect amount of time.

daily thoughts 6/4/26

i graduated 🥀🥀

goodbye highschool 

art consumption!!!!!!

been thinking recently. i have a big problem. of treating art as entertainment rather than art. biggest problem that i have with this is music. films and books are the easiest for me to analyze. but music oh boy...

music is so subjective. and its a bit harder to analyze for me what i like and dont like. and also i just listen to music for entertainment / in the background and i think that is bad,,... cuz i lowkey dont pay full attention. 

i usually judge music on like 3 things:

1. do i actually enjoy the sound of it 

2. is it thoroughly composed / i can tell effort went into this / mixing+production+unique-ness+ are the lyrics good

3. is it coherent with the rest of the album / the artist knows exactly what they want to do

but i cant judge it correctly cuz im a dumbass that doesnt pay enough attention to it 😭😭 and also bruh i enjoy almost 90% of what i watch/read/listen to cuz im easily entertained by everything. im too much of  a consumer 😭

---

also kinda related unrelated. but i feel like u need to be atleast somewhat pretentious to be a good artist. i think a good example is ryuichi sakamoto (of course). cuz he is pretentious af (or atleast he was in his early adult years, he kinda mellowed out later on) but he also had aura so it balanced it out. and he was very self-critical lol so he was kinda self aware abt what he was saying

---

also speaking of music bro i swear on my soul im tone deaf. i cant figure out how to play chords by ear. 

I DONT KNOWWWW..

i remember when i played guitar years ago. it was super easy to remember what each chord sounds like (obv cuz guitar is all abt chords) but with piano its genuinely impossible for me idk why.  and they say piano is the easiest instrument to learn 🥀

listen

 

daily thoughts 6/2/26

got my freaking graduation tomorrow

why am i lowkey scared now. man its really over. i wasted those 4 years 😭😭 i really wish i wasnt so pessimisstic all the time. i want to be hopeful for the future but i have too much anxiety. 

i really want to study art and become friends with all groups of people. but my anxiety is beating the shit out of me. i want to be one of those ppl who are able to become friends with anyone. god pls let it happen