daily thoughts 4/3/26

i really forget how popular showa idols were bruh, in other countries too cuz why is my mom blasting seiko matsuda and matchy in the kitchen rn

terrified of graduating

bruh im so scared of graduating it genuinely feels like its tormenting me everyday. i hate it when something is abt to end soon because i never feel any closure with the things that end in my life. i keep getting this anxiety abt things ending without me getting closure. like its so close. everything is abt to end yet i cant remember any good memories that i have gained. is this really what my life is gonna be like. just pure noise.

this happened to me like 4 years ago too when i was moving. idk i wasnt ready to move on yet and i got attached to my therapist and i didnt want to say bye to her. and when i had to leave my art class i just felt so empty.

im so fucking scared 😭😭 it really is so daunting. excruciating. i hate seeing others happy while i suffer. everyone going to or having a graduation party and it makes me sick. 

brujrkgk i get so easily attached to anyone who shows even a little bit of interest in me. im gonna miss my teachers unironically. and anyone who even interacted with me.

idk why i can never find a sense of closure for anything. 

grimdark rose

alt

daily thoughts 4/1/26

dont wanna deal with this school anymore

brou im gonna kms when spring break ends and i have to go back to school. i genuinely hate interacting with people 😭💔 idk if its just this school or if i just hate ppl in general but i hate the people at this school bro. i dont feel connected at all i swear 

i just feel down ig cuz i barely did anything fun my highschool years. also i think this is my least favorite school that i ever attended

also ai

fucking hate it when kids at my school say that no job is safe from ai bro who do u think did this 😭😭

they say this and then keep using chatgpt bro like go kill urself like genuinely. ur literally the reason why the ai market keeps expanding. is it really that hard to not use it. i swear. 

the rub rabbits

elite ball knowledge:

https://flasharch.com/en/archive/play/6194767d345954fd82c95bc161464293

https://flasharch.com/en/archive/play/6fbd507fecc142a42c3b122c05275c6c

daily thoughts 3/28/26

ryuichi sakamoto death anniversary 😊😊😊

wdym its already been 3 years since he passed....,,l..,l,l.

i remember when i heard the news i wasnt a ryuichi fan back then but i kinda knew somewhat about him. like very surface level stuff like oh hes the merry christmas mr lawrence guy. 

and i remember how everyone was grieving so desperately. and ppl talking abt how much of a legacy hes gonna leave behind. bro i shouldve been like that too. 

god i miss him so much actually. he made me feel so much more confident in art. and just made me want to love the world. 

why so sassy gramps

miss you so much 💔💔💔💔thank you for literally everything

karaoke iko

read this really good manga last night called karaoke iko. it was really good. it was good guys. 

i checked it out cuz everyone i know is obsessed with it for some reason and its really good guys i swear. 

its abt this middle school boy named satomi oka and hes the lead of the school choir and this yakuza guy named kyouji narita comes up and asks him to teach him how to sing because his yazuka boss holds a singing competition every year and the loser gets a punishment 

idk what else to say abt it tbh besides the fact that i had a good time with it. i actually kinda laughed reading it. it was funnies. and idk everything just flowed so naturally. the relationship between satomi and kyouji was fun. and by natural i mean i dont really know how to explain it like nothing felt forced and the pacing was good. its only 2 chapters and i felt complete at the end. and also i loved the art. that 2 chapter manga can truly change ur life. its always the short media that inspires me the most.

😭😭😭😭😭

also i wanna get into more of this author's stuff (their name is wayama :3). everyone i know is also obsessed with onna no sono no hoshi which is another manga by them. i heard its really funny ans good. i cant wait

i need to know more abt them
the yuri....
the girl on the left looks kindas like me
i feel spiritually connected to her

song otd 3/26/26

Today's song of the day is APRIL STARS by Akina Nakamori! boi im listening to all my favs again. my showa idol phase is so back everyone. been listening to akina and julie so much im gong insane. i forgor how good this album is. nothing extraordinary but its just full of bangers. also a very good deviation from her previous albums where it was just pretty much standard orthodox idol songs. 

song otd 3/23/26

Today's song of the day is Angel Baby by Jun Togawa! yes i love songs with a 1950s ballad type guitar chord progression. 

i usually hate it when ppl call random 50s songs creepy but this one gets a pass. jun togawa was trying to be deliberately creepy here with her discordant vocals and it works kinda. very overdone cliche where ppl use a 1950s song to be creepy. but this one gets a pass because i love the way she sings here