not to self diagnose but there is something genuinely wrong with me

bruh i swear to god i got some type of disorder or something that i dont know abt cuz aint no way a normal person acts like this.

my jealousy levels and sensitivity and stress levels should not be this high.

sometimes i get so jealous i genuinely feel like throwing up.

and everytime i overthink even once it will almost escalate to a panic attack

and i get so overwhelmed when im in loud places idk why i hate it. it makes my head hurt. 

and every week atleast once a week or maybe 2 weeks i feel sad and empty everytime someone send help

song otd 5/8/25

Today's song of the day is Till There Was You by The Beatles! been thinking abt the bugs lately. i miss them ngl. this lowkey one of the best beatles songs ever. i love early beatles so much. they will never make me hate you early beatles. this the type of song that will make u romanticize life

also listen to this cover. its so wonderful. one of my favorite genre of youtube videos is 16 yo videos with dated camera quality and its just an old grandpa or grandma playing their favorite music. 

my various unpopular opinions

kate bush's music sucks

steven universe >>> gravity falls

rolling stones suck

lofthouse cookies are good 

amphibia was not bad 

akira movie >>> akira manga (yes i read the manga)

ashita no joe manga >>> ashita no joe anime

doukyuusei was boring af

cancel culture is not real

steven universe is one of the most visually appealing cartoons ever

rottmnt is one of the greatest cartoons of all time

stranger things fell off after s1 (it shouldve ended at s1)

akina nakamori discog > seiko matsuda discog

black leggings worn as pants are ugly as hell

i did not like the shining

karate kid is the best out of all the mainstream pop culture 80s films

i do not care about spamton deltarune

pink floyd is mid

there are only a few good kpop groups (and none of them are boy groups)

city pop sucks and i hate all city pop fans (half-joking)

tatsuro yamashita sucks, is overrated, and he should kill himself

everyone should watch mobile suit gundam (1979)

idk this is more hate than unpopular opinion but i cant stand ppl who call themselves big backs for eating like 2 donuts when theyre literally built like a stick

thinking abt this must be the place again

thought abt this song recently again... it makes me want to cry... i relate to it a lot. feeling numb and broken and unlovable. and then learning to love and be loved eventually and it just feels so uncomfortable and weird. it breaks my heart... 💔💔💔i love the lyric: home is where I wanna be but I guess im already there. i love this idea of home being people that love you. and the lyrics where it also says i feel numb, born with a weak heart, i guess i must be having fun i relate to a lot with just forcing myself to look happy or atleast somewhat ok. 

ive been feeling down again. even if something good happens to me its only for a fleeting moment that ill forget about later. everyday i feel numb most of the time and feel like nothing will ever change and ill always stay the same horrible person who gets jealous of other people finding love. but this song brings me some comfort. it really feels like a warm hug. i hope i can find my home someday. i dont think i deserve it right now. atleast i got the talking heads with me 

song otd 5/7/25

Today's song of the day is Je te veux by Erik Satie! i remember playing this piece on my piano. very calming and peaceful. it used to be one of my favorite pieces to play on the piano. i hope i can force myself to pick up piano again in the future. i need to start playing more instruments.

found the best version of tong poo yet

holllyy siihttt.... this the best ver of tong poo omg. its so good. im crying. so loud and clear. and i like the instrumentals here more. everything is just so beautiful. im glad the piano is louder in this ver cuz the piano is one of my fav parts of this song

song otd 5/6/25

Today's song of the day is Pull up the Roots by the Talking Heads! another talking heads song whos surprised. this might unironically be one of my most fav talking heads songs ever. idk its simple but so good to listen to. i love the intro, i love the rhythm guitar so funky, i love the cowbell, and that drop at 2:17 is so catchy. that drum and the bass and the synth so good. and david byrne's voice is so loud i love it so much. and that ending. i love this song so much